September 26 – October 2, 2020
News
Comment
Comment
Richard Cooke
The media’s Covid-19 contrarians
“I bought John Kehoe a coffee in 2016, when we were both in Washington, DC. Too late now for a refund, and there was, as far as I can remember, no hint of any latent Oedipal drive behind his small talk, nothing to indicate that on April 9 of this year, I would open The Australian Financial Review and find him making the case for his father as a human sacrifice.”
Comment
Paul Bongiorno
Ripping up Tony Abbott’s legacy
“Tony Abbott has a lot to answer for. The former prime minister’s judgement on the national broadband network, climate and energy have led to costly and embarrassing failures. Now Scott Morrison is left to pick up the pieces – trying to reposition his government to be more in tune with the situation contemporary Australia is facing.”
Letters, Cartoon & Editorial
Culture
Fiction
Leaving
“When bathing them, she’d tell stories of animals and plants. Each had its own story of its origin and purpose. As Maggie and Victoria lay down to sleep, the old lady would whisper tales of celestial serpents and seven starry sisters. She would fill their ears with maps, instructions and long-held lore. If they misbehaved, Nana Vic would tell them about sharp-toothed creatures that lived in watery caves, and other ancient beings that craved tasty children. The babes’ eyes widened, soaking it all in before asking for more.”
Books
Life
Puzzles
Quotes
Education
“The police respect the age-old tradition of ‘muck-up’ days, but students must take necessary precautions.”
The state police take a soft approach to students from Shore planning a scavenger hunt that involved spitting on homeless people and defecating on trains. The elite private school was just preparing its boys for a life of exploiting others and literally shitting on instruments of public good.
Politics
“Sadly, the events of the past weeks and months have cemented my decision to resign as a member of the NSW Nationals effective immediately.”
The Port Macquarie MP defects to the Liberal Party, which means koalas are officially winning the war against John Barilaro.
Intimacy
“Do you and the other person use the same bathroom?”
The agency’s relationship details form uses the bathroom arrangements of share houses to help determine whether housemates could be construed as being in a romantic relationship. It’s safe to say whoever wrote the questionnaire has never lived in a share house with one bathroom.
Detention
“The minister is considering the reasons for the court’s decision and options for an appeal.”
A spokeswoman responds to a Federal Court decision that found the acting Immigration minister “engaged in conduct which can only be described as criminal” when he unlawfully detained an asylum seeker. Tudge was earlier accused of contempt of court and being a Morrison government minister.
Media
“I now know those comments were hurtful and untrue.”
The News Corp columnist responds to legal action by apologising for suggesting Quaden Bayles and his mother faked their account of his bullying. It’s going to be hard to find targets more vulnerable than nine-year-old Indigenous children, but that’s the task ahead.
Vale
“Praying for strength and courage to his family and friends.”
The Indian Test captain offers his condolences after the death of beloved Australian cricketer and IPL commentator Dean Jones. Jones passed away suddenly in Mumbai on Thursday. He was 59.
