July 26 - Aug 1, 2014
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Quotes
POLITICS
“They must have heaps of cash and they’ve got to have a package between their legs, let’s be honest.”
The Tasmanian senator explains her perfect man, who helpfully calls into the breakfast radio show where she is talking and offers that he is hung “like a donkey”.
MEDICINE
“Med Board carries out dirty little midnight political de-registration.”
The euthanasia advocate (nee doctor) marks his suspension by the Medical Board of Australia over his involvement in the suicide of a 45-year-old who was not terminally ill. The board believes he “presents a serious risk to public health and safety”.
CRIME
“You are a disgraceful person to even mention that of someone who is dead. God rest his soul.”
At yet another underworld inquest, Carl Williams’ widow responds poorly to the suggestion her crime boss husband was a “disgraceful and despicable” person.
DETENTION
“Approximately three hours outside during the day in natural light for meals.”
A document filed in the High Court explains the conditions in which 157 asylum seekers are being detained on a Customs hulk at sea.
ROYALS
“Prince George was very lively and very sure of himself and confident – a very determined young boy.”
The photographer who took the first public pictures of Prince “Boy” George walking on his first birthday explains the stoicism of our future ruler.
SPORT
“I never thought I’d be able to stand in the Celtic Board Room in front of the trophy case... with no pants.”
The tuneful leather good muses backstage at the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony, held at his favourite football club’s stadium. Photographic evidence of his pantlessness was duly released.
