March 21 - 27, 2015
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Gardening
War of the weeds
To keep the peace in any garden, you must be unafraid to let slip the dogs – and shovels – of war.
The Quiz
Quotes
JOURNALISM
“In the days when I was a journalist there were no metadata protections for journalists.”
The prime minister uses his knowledge of the 1980s to explain the present. Presumably, having never paid for university, he can’t understand the concern over $100,000 degrees.
POLITICS
“Horsewoman of the apocalypse.”
The federal Liberal party treasurer describes Peta Credlin, shedding future doubt on the Bible’s claim that the messengers of the revelation will be angels.
DEBATE
“I and Labor believe it’s time, it’s time to breathe new life into the dream of an Australian republic.”
The opposition leader restarts the republican debate by snatching a slogan from the corpse of a campaign that died 42 years ago.
ECOLOGY
“Certain kinds of wallabies make great pets. The quoll may replace domestic cats. The bilby is often nominated as a great candidate for domestication.”
The Liberal Democrat makes the case that private ownership is the best way to prevent extinction because it gives the animal “value”. Same goes for keeping the poor as slaves.
WORLD
“It would be boring without gossip.”
The Russian president jests after his 10-day disappearance. Without gossip, all you would have for fun is horse riding and tiger hunting and the murdering of opposition leaders.
FOOD
“It was a brown onion. He checked it out, remarked that it was similar to the one the other day and then took a few bites and said it was tasty.”
The chief executive of powerful lobby group Onions Australia details a meeting in Tony Abbott’s office, where for the second time in a week he ate a raw onion. His prime ministership feels more like a schoolyard dare with each day.
