September 19, 2015
News
Comment
Letters, Cartoon & Editorial
Culture
Food
Roast lamb with crushed peas and mint sauce
A delicious lamb roast, and the secret of great peas.
Books
Life
Science
Feeding the world with microbacterial agriculture
The answer to the problem of feeding the growing global population may be microscopic.
The Quiz
Quotes
IMMIGRATION
“Look, I think Australians are pretty sick of being lectured to. I really think Australians are sick of being lectured to by the United Nations.”
The then PM on evidence conditions in offshore detention were tantamount to torture. In the end, though, Australians were more sick of human rights abuses.
HONOURS
“I’m just really pleased that in his 90s, towards the end of a life of service and duty, we in this country are able to properly acknowledge what he’s done for us.”
The then PM defends the knighthood he gave Prince Philip. Mine approvals were not processed in time for him to deliver his gift of coal to Newcastle, and global warming interfered with the ice he had for Eskimos.
DIPLOMACY
“Look, I am going to shirtfront Mr Putin. You bet you are. You bet I am.”
The then PM on his intention to confront Vladimir Putin over the MH17 disaster. Putin has since been seen only topless.
WOMEN
“As many of us know, women are particularly focused on the household budget, and the repeal of the carbon tax means a $550 a year benefit for the average family.”
The then PM explains his services as minister for women. Because in the 1950s everyone was a climate sceptic.
RACE
“What we can’t do is endlessly subsidise lifestyle choices if those lifestyle choices are not conducive to the kind of full participation in Australian society that everyone should have.”
The then PM on costly lifestyle choices. Such as being Aboriginal.
HONESTY
“We have been a government of men and women, not a government of gods walking upon the earth.”
The suddenly former PM admits to his mortal form. His was a cabinet of men and women. Or men and woman, if we were to be pedantic.