February 16 – 22, 2019
News
Comment
Comment
Kerryn Phelps
A bill of human rights
“The evidence to date does not establish that moving people to Australia temporarily for medical treatment results in a flood of boats. According to Minister Dutton, 810 people from offshore detention are already in Australia for medical treatment with the government’s approval, and they have not been returned to Nauru and Manus – yet the boats have not restarted. Similarly, the headlines last year that the government was going to move all children to Australia by Christmas also have not resulted in an influx of boats.”
Comment
Paul Bongiorno
Morrison doubles down on security
“What a week for the Morrison minority government. It started with the prime minister promising to keep Australians safe and secure. It ended with him and his government looking less assured they will be around long enough to deliver. Tuesday’s historic defeat on the floor of the parliament was a direct legacy of the same turmoil that led to the demolition of Malcolm Turnbull’s leadership. In its wake, the prospect of the government’s recovery is looking more remote by the day.”
Letters, Poem & Editorial
Culture
Profile
The reinvention of Christine and the Queens
Like her idol Madonna, French pop musician Héloïse Letissier is interested in transformation and reinvention. Her latest album finds her performing in a new persona as Chris, a celebration of her “macho-femininity”. She is, however, aware of the “danger of mainstreaming ‘queerness’… [that] it could invalidate the thing that ‘queer’ is important for. Queer is questioning a norm, questioning the system, subverting it, so if it’s digested and branded and [covered in] glossy plastic to appeal, then the essence of queer is lost.”
Music
Methyl Ethel’s Triage
On the latest Methyl Ethel album, Triage, Jake Webb’s extraordinary songwriting is on full display in pop music of unusual complexity.
Portrait
Comedian Mimi Shaheen
“Stand-up comic Mimi Shaheen lights a cigarette under a sphinx that overlooks the eponymously named hotel in Geelong. ‘It’s been a big week and my vape fluid has run out,’ she says, taking a drag. I have joined Mimi on the hour-long drive from Melbourne to watch her perform in the ironically titled collaboration show The United Nations Comedy Gala. It features three Italians, a Greek, a Spaniard and her. ‘Basically I cover the whole Middle East,’ she says flicking her black hair theatrically.”
Books
Life
Puzzles
Quotes
BOATS
“If you lose control of your borders, ultimately, sooner or later, you lose control of the country.”
The former prime minister on the risk of offering medical care to sick refugees. Similarly, if you lose control of your party, ultimately, sooner or later, you lose control of your mind.
DESIGN
“We are introducing the changes gradually as stationery is exhausted and other materials are replaced.”
The corporate affairs boss at the Australian Securities and Investments Commission defends spending $100,000 on a new font and branding. As soon as the letterhead arrives, but not too soon, it is expected they will start regulating the financial markets.
MUSIC
“If people knew they would say I was like R Kelley lol.”
The singer asks an under-age girl to show him her ID in “the hottest way that has ever been done”. We are happy to report that the hottest way is in a New York Times article outlining his mistreatment of women.
POLITICS
“Whilst I do not recall the incident of blood on the door, I now have come to the conclusion that it was myself and I sincerely apologise for that action.”
The former One Nation senator confesses to smearing blood on Pauline Hanson’s office after fighting with one of her staffers. They’re right, though: Muslim immigration is the problem.
PRECEDENT
“I will simply ignore it and we’ll get on with the business.”
The prime minister explains his strategy after losing a vote on the floor of the house. It joins matching strategies on climate change, Indigenous recognition and looking terrible in hats.
DONATIONS
“The history of Australia has determined the innate characteristics of a giant baby. This is an objective fact and it does not mean Australia has to feel inferior.”
The Chinese billionaire reflects on the “simple folk customs” of Australian politics. There is no folk custom more simple than making political donations in the hope of influence and residency.
